A collection of short stories and journalistic commentaries depicting my simple life
and how I fit in with the modern day universe of our times




You’ve no idea how lucky you are that I’m here today writing this.

Because if it wasn’t for an old school friend Martin Jackson and the insatiable appetite of the Blackpool slot machines, my life would almost certainly have taken a completely different path.

I think I’d better explain.

Way back in the days of flared trousers and platform shoes (the first time round unfortunately) I harboured ambitions of becoming a pop star. I had the electric guitar, knew 5 chords (two more than Status Quo ever did) and had practiced signing my autograph to the point of inducing repetitive strain injury.

I was ready to take the world by storm. All I needed now was a band.

As luck would have it, I was surrounded by four equally deluded mates... one of whom couldn’t play anything at all, but lived in a pub with a perfect rehearsal room. Obviously, he’d be the lead singer. We were ready to go - all apart from one thing.

Martin Jackson was to be our drummer - a drummer who had just one thing standing between him and rock superstardom... he didn’t own a set of drums. Rumour had it, that he’d once owned a set, but had traded them in at the local swap shop for some fishing tackle and an air pistol.

Not an immediate problem though.

He’d saved £50 from his summer job on a burger van, and would use that to obtain the missing piece in our jigsaw... just as soon as he returned from his holiday in Blackpool.

I think you can probably guess the rest.

When Martin returned from Blackpool he didn’t have a penny to his name... all £50 had been donated to the amusement arcade owner’s benevolent fund. And that was it - the dream was over. The world had lost what would almost certainly have become one of the all time great bands. And all for the want of a set of drums.

I was thinking about this the other night while watching a
TV programme called ‘Before They Were Famous’.

I’m sure you’ve probably seen it, but just in case you haven’t, the idea of the show is that they dig into the archives and find footage of famous people before they made it big.

And here’s what’s interesting.

No matter who the star - no matter how they might seem to have burst on to the scene from nowhere, there’s always plenty of footage.

The show I saw the other night featured, amongst others, Ricky Gervais, who nobody had either seen or heard of before The Office. And yet, there he was on a TV show from the early 1980s... as singer in a New Romantics style group... twenty years before he became an ‘overnight success’.

It’s the same thing with all these Pop Idol and
Fame Academy type show contestants.

The impression given is that they’ve all just walked in off the street for their one and only shot at fame and fortune.

But once the winners have been chosen, the old video clips start to surface. And what you see time and again is evidence of a life dedicated to the pursuit of fame... childhood TV advertisements, small appearances in plays and soap operas, singing and dancing spots on various TV shows. In fact, anything that furthers their craving for fame.

The point I’m trying to make is this. It takes years of effort
and sacrifice to become an overnight success.

When you see someone burst from nowhere to great success, you’re only seeing the very tip of a massive iceberg. And what lurks below the surface is the hard work and persistence that put that person in a position to break through the surface... and give the impression that it was all fairly effortless.

If by some miracle, I was to become a star of music, stage or screen, there would be no appearances on ‘Before They Were Famous’ for me... because I’ve never done anything anybody ever thought was remotely worth filming! Contrary to my opening remarks, if I’d had even the slightest talent or aptitude for life as a rock god, I wouldn’t have let Martin Jackson’s deficiency in the drum department hold me back...

I’d have found another drummer, or raised the £50
we needed some other way. I’d have persisted.

Fact is, it was one of those daft pipe dreams which all teenage lads have, and I had neither the drive, talent, or commitment to even give myself a ghost of a chance of success. I gave up at the very first hurdle. It just wasn’t easy enough for me.

Overnight success is a perception for the audience,
but never a reality for the performer.

I’m sure you’re ahead of me here, but this holds true for whatever it is that you’re striving for. There will be setbacks, failures and disappointments along the road to achieving success in every field. There will be an apprenticeship to serve... and almost certainly some pain and anguish to endure.

But when you get there... when you reach your goal... all your ‘audience’ will see is the success. They won’t see anything of what went in to achieving it.

I think a lot of people give up on what they’re trying
to achieve because they spend too much time in the ‘audience’.

Here’s what I mean.

If you think about it, whatever field you’re in, you nearly always spend quite a bit of time in the audience before taking the plunge as a performer. And from the audience perspective, success looks so instant and easily obtained. Just the tip of the iceberg is visible, remember.

Now... step over the threshold from audience member to performer... from spectator to player.... from wage slave to business person... and it all comes as a bit of a shock.

The success doesn’t come anywhere near as quickly as it appears to for everybody else. You’re still coming to this from the perspective of a spectator remember... a place where only the end result is visible.

And so the temptation... the instinct... is to give up because your spectators expectations have come up against the harsh reality of life as a player. And you’re just not prepared for it.

I remember very well being totally demoralised when my first attempts at making some money by my own efforts (rather than just turning up and being given a salary at the end of the month) didn’t get the results I felt they deserved. I looked around at the other people who’d stepped out of the audience to become performers, and couldn’t believe that they were prospering so well while I was struggling...

But what I couldn’t see, was the iceberg of struggle which had
already taken place for them in the past, and which to a
certain extent, was still taking place on a daily basis.

I said earlier that if I were to become famous, there would be no old video clips to show. Well I didn’t become famous, but I have had some business success. There are no video clips, but there’s plenty of evidence of earlier efforts to create an independent income which resulted in less than glittering success...

There was the plumbing business, and the CV writing business and the Graphic design business and the... No... it’s all too painful to go on!

Now to be fair, some of these efforts couldn’t be called a failure... but just like Robbie Williams’ appearance as a dancer on children’s TV, they do look fairly pathetic in the light of what was to come later...

But they were still a necessary stage in the transition
from audience member to competent performer.

But sadly, most people are so traumatised by the reality of taking the first steps to becoming a performer... it’s so much more difficult than they expect... that they give up very quickly - often believing that the established performers must have had some lucky break or advantage they don’t know about. How else can you explain the ease of their ‘overnight’ success?

The answer, is that all massive overnight success is the end result of years of ‘invisible’ experimentation, persistence, and hard work.

And there’s little point in stepping out of the audience and on to the stage at all, unless you’re mentally prepared for that reality.

Anyone want to buy a guitar?



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Its my own fault really, its all about what I see in the world, and how it all translates for me.

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