TOY STORY

Posted at 23:00

“Zildarek, could you please come up here and read your son a bedtime story!” his wife shouted.

Her husband had fallen asleep with his head inside the holosphere entertainment unit again. “Yes, dear – coming,” he managed to blurt out while still in a groggy daze, not quite sure what was going on. Last he remembered, he was watching a sector level gnilruc game. No wonder he’d fallen asleep. A gnilruc game is just a little more exciting than watching vegetables grow in slow motion.

He got up; shuffled his four feet up the white stone ramp and into his son’s nesting chamber.

“Read me a story, daddy!” his son shouted gleefully as his antennae made little circular motions of excitement.

“OK, OK, calm down and let me think... What story haven’t I read you yet? Have I read you Golden mandibles and the three Xoak grubs?”

“Yes.”

“How about The three tiny crustaceans?”

“Yes, two times.”

“What about The swamp-fly who cried arachnid? – that’s a good one.”

“Daaaaad, you read that to me a mega-qua-zillion times!” his son threw his claws in the air in frustration.

“Wait a minute... I know a story, but it’s not in any reader chip. A special story my dad used to tell me. I think you’re old enough to hear it,” Zildarek said slyly as his son started to beam with pride.

“Tell me dad, pleeeeease.”

“OK, let me think....”

“Once upon a time, a long time ago, and many light years away, a tiny slow moving spacecraft from a planet called Earth was sent to a nearby star. The earthlings were the first humans to ever travel to a neighbouring solar system. When they finally reached this new system, they picked up a strange signal coming from the fifth planet, so they followed it to investigate.”

“What was it dad?” his son asked impatiently.

“Just wait, you’ll find out, just let me tell the story.”

“OK.”

“Now, where was I? Ah yes. So they landed on the fifth planet; the signal led them to this small strange looking object, and they could tell it had been made by another intelligent life form. It was a glittery purple in colour; shaped like a rocket with an outboard motor attached and what appeared to be some form of bumpy hieroglyphs over its entire surface. It was easily picked up with their appendages; the object’s surface looked like some type of silicone rubber, but was remarkably light in weight. The humans were very excited about finding this object as it was their first ever proof they were not alone in the universe. They explored this planet for a long time looking for more evidence of the civilization that made it, but found nothing else. When they brought it back to Earth, their world welcomed them back like heroes; their whole planet was very excited about this discovery. But what was it; what did it do, if anything? It was made of materials they didn’t know; it had a power source they didn’t understand too. They studied it for a long time, taking it apart piece by piece, and finally they thought they knew what it was.”

“What was it!” interrupted his son.

“Hold on, I’m getting there... They thought it was some sort of new power generator. The humans were all very excited about it. They decided to recreate this alien device, but to make things easier for themselves, they would build it on a much larger scale. The planet Earth sought out their greatest scientific minds, their greatest engineers, and experts in other fields. The humans worked on it for 23 ellipse durations.”

“Wow, that’s a long time – Those scientists must have died of old age!” exclaimed his son in shock.

“Aaah, no. I’m 35 durations young, and plan to live quite a few more,” said Zildarek with uncertain confidence.

“Any-way, they finally recreated this would be power generator a thousand times larger than the original object. They didn’t have the materials that the original was made of, so they had done the best they could with what they had. Unfortunately, their version was very crude in comparison, but they were eager to see what it could do. Maybe it could make their space ships go faster, or power a huge weapon to defend themselves against unknown future enemies.”

His son interjected – “Like the outpost cannons of Mapzorp – they can destroy an entire planetoid with one shot!” his son bragged with delight. “PAAAH-BOOOM!”

“OK, we can do without the sound effects please. May I continue?” In reply, his son nodded with extreme exaggeration.

“So, the big day came; the whole planet was very excited, and there was much rejoicing. The President of their world had the honour of pressing the button that turned on this alien power source. He made a speech about what a great day it was in human history; that this day would be remembered for all time, or something like that. You know, blah-blah-blah.” His son frowned impatiently at his dad’s mockery of a politician – his left antenna began to twitch.

“Daaaaad.”

“OK.... So after his speech, he pressed the button. The gigantic purple rocket shaped thing started to shake violently, and then began to hum loudly.” Zildarek picked up his son’s slurpy-cup to demonstrate the rest. “Next, it lifted off the ground and started to vibrate. It vibrated faster and faster; shot up into the sky and off into space. It hovered up there above the planet for a short time; came back down at an incredible speed, and destroyed the whole planet. THE END.”

“YAY Awesome... But how did it destroy the planet dad?”

“It’s far too complicated.”

“Daaaaaad.”

“You’re too young to understand.”

“Please, Dad.”

“OK, OK. Do you remember what happened when that asteroid hit the moon orbiting Phautogue?”

“Wow, that’s soooooo abominable!”

“Yes, I thought you’d like that,” Zildarek said looking bored. “Anyway, there’s more.”

“More to the story?”

“Yes. You see, this is a true story, and do you know what the object really was that the humans had found?”

“Was it a secret-super-duper-ultimate-planet-killer-weapon from the evil Taelrok Empire?”

“Aaaaah, no. It was... a woman’s play thing of some sort!” The pause for effect was a nice touch, he thought.

“NO DUNG!” his son yelled.

“Hey, watch the language. Yes, a woman’s toy from the most advanced world in our galaxy – Hon Konglia Tie Wan.

“So the moral of the story is...” he waited for his son’s answer.

“Don’t... build, a really big toy, on your home planet?”

“No, not exactly, I would have thought more like; women should be more careful where they lose things.... But never mind. Go to sleep now.”

“OK, goodnight dad.”

“Goodnight, son. Don’t let the humans bite.”

His son smiled. It was the bestest story his dad had ever told him, and one he would never forget. Funny humans, he thought, but that President of Earth was silly not to have tested his new contraption first but was nevertheless still right about it being remembered for a long time 'coming' (sorry I had to).

He then retracted his mandibles, and went quickly to sleep.

TOY STORY

   

4 Comments:

1. J.R. LeMar said...
   11 September 2011 23:28  
   Pretty cool little story!
   stephie said...
   11 September 2011 23:30  
   well done! You could be a successful childrens author for sure!
   Anonymous said...
   12 September 2011 14:24  
   very sexy... wonder where you got the inspiration for this gorgeous man... kisses
   fat girl gone thin said...
   13 September 2011 02:33  
   steph, you do realise he is writing about a vibrator right?

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