A collection of short stories and journalistic commentaries depicting my simple life
and how I fit in with the modern day universe of our times


A few years ago, I had the undeniable privilege of being commissioned to re-paint the exterior of Lord Alderley's home. "Just a couple of doorways and a few windows," he said to me over the phone.

Turned out the whole job took about 6 weeks to complete.  Here's why...

Turned out that the couple of doors and a few windows were in fact 6 doorways, 178 individual panes of glass for windows, a shed-load of masonry including cills, headstones, quoins, parapets and decorative urns on the roof tops.

While there, I also undertook to build him a library on his landing and at the same time, decorate the hall stairs and landing for him. It all turned out like this...

He knew of my interest in interior design, so he allowed me to have a nosey around some of the more public areas of his home.

So if you want to know how the other half live, follow me.... as we go .... through the key hole so to speak...

This was what he considered to be the main hall, a 60 x 30 foot reception room. Soom of you may have seen it on TV. It has been used in many television drama's. "One has to pay the mortgage somehow," said the Lord.

Upstairs the house is home to many pieces of antique furniture. The pride of which is this 600 year old bed.

Not to everyone's liking, I know. I much preferred the inviting warmth of this piece...

One of the quirkiest rooms in the house was this guest bathroom. Re-fitted in the early '70's, it is the epitome of all that is bad for today's bathrooms. But the Lord reckons it is a vital part of our cultural heritage and should be preserved as such. The Lord has a sense of humour too, as you will see...

The room comes complete with a working cigarette vending machine (30p a packet), beer pump heads from an old pub and an optics stand for dispensing spirits. Of particular note, is the notice which takes pride of place above the loo. "Gentlemen - please adjust your dress before leaving."

Which is what I did before my Lord kicked me out. As he reckoned he had an appointment in his front garden...

How many of us can boast having balloon rides over our estates?

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Its my own fault really, its all about what I see in the world, and how it all translates for me.

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