A collection of short stories and journalistic commentaries depicting my simple life
and how I fit in with the modern day universe of our times


Hopefully you’ve been reading this blog for a little while now, so I think I can trust you with one of my more embarrassing confessions. I’ve not really told anyone about this, for fear of ridicule, but I spoke to someone the other day, who made me feel a lot better about it. So here it is…

I don’t want to win the lottery!

There, I’ve said it.

I often tell people that I don’t do the national lottery because it’s a ‘Numpty Tax’ and there’s very little chance of actually winning it. Both of these things are true of course, but the real reason is that I don’t want to win, winning that kind of money scares me. I’ve always had a vague idea of why I don’t want to win, but a conversation with Brian Boffin (name changed) brought it into sharper focus for me last weekend - and maybe even gave me cause to change my mind.

Conversations with Brian can often be strange affairs. He’s a man of very diverse talents and interests and so you regularly find yourself jumping from progress on his latest YouTube film, to religious philosophy, to how to render an attacker unconscious… all within the space of a few minutes.

Anyway, Brian was telling me about a friend of his who is struggling for money at the moment. The friend said what a lot of people say in such circumstances… “I could do with a bit of luck – I wish I could win the lottery”. Geoff’s reply (he was in philosophy mode now… not ‘break-yer-neck’ mode) was…

“Don’t wish for some luck – wish for a journey.”

As soon as he said it I realised why I don’t want to win the lottery – because when you do, it takes you straight to the destination without going on the journey. And it’s only by going on the journey and experiencing the highs, lows, successes and failures along the way, that you can really appreciate the destination.

It’s pretty well documented that very few big football pools and lottery winners are any happier after their win than they were before it – and maybe that’s the reason. Because the destination is nothing without the journey, and a big win always robs you of the journey.

If I were to win a ‘life changing’ amount of money, I think it really would diminish the journey I’ve travelled thus far, and de-motivate me from embarking on the journeys I’ve also planned to make in the future. And that’s another important point that ‘winners’ rarely seem to grasp…

Once you’ve arrived at one destination, it’s vital that you immediately embark on another journey. The journey is the thing. There’s no ultimate destination - not in this life at least.

Having thought about this a little more, (as you may or may not know this blog is sometimes just a vehicle for clarifying my thoughts… you’re just here to be an unpaid counsellor and nod in the right places) I think that maybe I would like to win the lottery after all.

You see, if you have the right mindset, winning £20 Million or so, does not really rob you of future journeys it just opens up wider opportunities for the journeys you’re able to make. Yes, it quite rightly means changing your plans… often meaning stepping out of your comfort zone and into scary new arena’s. It means abandoning your planned journey, and finding a new one…

And all without the metaphorical kick up the backside that needing to put food on the table often provides.

So on reflection, I think I’m probably up to the job, and would certainly be prepared to take the risk of giving it a try. So now it’s just a case of winning the money…

Can anyone show me how to buy a ticket?

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Its my own fault really, its all about what I see in the world, and how it all translates for me.

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