IT'S SO MUCH MORE THAN A BOOK...

It's a deceptively rectangular shaped object containing several thousand carefully arranged words, created when a person voluntarily sacrifices their sleep, sanity, social interaction, and a perfectly serviceable amount of their remaining lifespan in order to manufacture imaginary people with imaginary problems, set in imaginary exotic backgrounds, before spending four further months correcting all the commas.

A book is communication, traditionally constructed from paper, ink, caffeine, self-doubt, existential dread and one inexplicably troublesome chapter of blood, sweat and tears. A book exists primarily to transport the reader into another world while its author remains behind, staring nervously at sales figures and wondering why nobody has left a review yet.

Books are instrumental. They have toppled governments, started religions, ended relationships, inspired revolutions, educated civilizations and provided humanity with something impressive-looking to put on shelves behind them during video calls for years now.

In its most advanced form, a book may also be adapted into a major motion picture, at which point approximately 63% of its plot is savagely removed, 22% is re-written, and somebody who never had one previously, is given a sword prior to a gender reassignment. Along with an explosion or two being added to Chapter Three for good measure.

And it's probably at this stage when the audience eventually mutters:

“THE BOOK'S A LOT BETTER THAN THE MOVIE.”

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