A collection of short stories and journalistic commentaries depicting my simple life
and how I fit in with the modern day universe of our times


I suppose there’s a certain form of vagueness, a feeling of ‘not quite having been there’ that’s heavily associated with most forms of dreaming, either daydreaming, sweet dreams or nightmares – you probably even know that feeling, maybe you’ve even experienced it for yourself. And for Amy, those feelings were more real than anything else she had ever experienced.

She’d only ever remembered the one dream in her life. She’d recalled it over and over again. Every last detail, every sense, every sound, every emotion at the time of her dream, had been fully registered, it was still so very powerful in her consciousness – even now so many years after she had had this most emphatic of dreams.

In her dream there was a man. And Amy had loved him way beyond the meaning of simple words. Beyond anything she’d ever known in this life, yet in her mind, she kept telling herself she know him for real. But how could this be so? How she could love a man so much that she’d never even seen before, how could she have such intense feelings for him? But then she realises it’s just a dream and in dreams I guess anything is possible.

Amy’s dream begins as they take a walk together, her and this new found lover of hers.

It was a peaceful summer’s day, possibly spring but it was so warm and she felt her skin prickle as the warm sunshine kissed both her and her perfect man’s faces. They smiled at each other, their bodies in contact only via their hands – cupped together as one, a symbol of joining, and a simple action of the purest of love.

Their walk was a relatively short one as they soon reached the local park, a creamy white pathway stretched ahead of them, paralleled only by dark rich green grass they were walking through. They were happy together and life was oh so precious to them now. And for perhaps the first time in her life, she felt truly comfortable and safe.

It was then that a loud thunderous sound happened to her right, the back-fire of a car possibly, she thought to herself. Whatever it was, it drew her attention away for a moment but when she looked back to his face, his smile was now frozen and his life essences seemed to pale before her. Time was moving slowly now, just like it does in the movies and no matter how hard she tried to fight her own internal panic, no matter what she tried, Amy couldn’t stop any of what happened next.

Looking straight from her man’s face to his chest, and then to his stomach, she saw blood seeping out from a small hole in his shirt. He had been shot and his blood was pooling and stretched right across his lower half. Her eyes moved quickly upwards to rest on his face, only moments before so full of life and love – smiling into hers, but now just a frozen grimace of pain filled with a knowledge that he was surely dying.

He collapsed into her arms and whole timing thing appeared to quickly speed up as she screamed for him to stay alive, to stay with her, to save her from this whole nightmare. His face so brave now, his breathing so ragged, his life rapidly coming to its end – her eyes quickly blur with tears, only one emotion is present now, and her throat is thick with grief.

“Please” she begs of him, “please don’t leave me.”

She cries heavily. Her lover says nothing for what seems like an eternity, but stares up into her face as if to etch it into his soul for the rest of time.

“I love you Amy” he softly tells her as he dies in her arms.

“I love you too” she cries, unsure if her words were ever even heard.

“I really do love you” she slowly whispers one more time, mostly in prayer as she comes to the realisation that he was gone.

And then she awakes.

Her pillow is soaked through, wet from her crying in her sleep and she feels so lost and alone. Every part of Amy’s body  now aches for the man she’d just lost, a man she didn’t even know, save for his eyes, those eyes that held his love for her right to the end and beyond, and oddly enough she couldn’t even remember his face.

She quietly weeps into the rest of the night, for the man of her dreams to return, her one true love, who was sadly forever lost to her now.

You see in dreams we can be anyone we like, but is it also often a record of who we may have once been. Who knows? But all I know for certain is that somehow, Amy was forever comforted with this dream, comforted by the knowledge that she had once been loved, ever so greatly, by a man she truly thought the world of.

Even if it was to be only in her dreams.

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  1. stephie said...
    yeah the man of my dreams exists only in my dreams!
    dragonfly emerging said...
    the man of my dreams exists in real life :) and i am lucky enough to be marrying him :)

    i love you andy

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Its my own fault really, its all about what I see in the world, and how it all translates for me.

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