A collection of short stories and journalistic commentaries depicting my simple life
and how I fit in with the modern day universe of our times


Hell had finally found me. And by hell I mean my past. For years now I had been living a brand new life, I was a totally new person, new name, everything. I had settled into my new life so much that I had almost entirely forgotten my past, something that at one time I never thought would be possible to forget, and well I didn’t think I would even be able to escape it, never mind have the opportunity to be able to forget it. But I knew that this day would probably come, the day the devils of my past would return to try and seek their revenge, me and my bravery had ruined them and their evil lifestyle.

I’d effectively caused the collapse of a whole criminal underworld. Lots of people were sent to jail as a result of my actions. But although the likelihood was that my cover was now blown and I would have to start again once more, deep down I believe that put in the same situation again then I would have done the same thing all over, because otherwise many others would have suffered a far more worse life than the one that I had when I was subject to the abuse of these merciless people.

Back in my teens I had fallen in with the wrong crowd, tried drugs, got hooked on them, and as you know, the more you want something you are addicted to the more you will do to get it, and that included borrowing large sums of money off dangerous people, and owing so much money is what lead to me doing something considered a major crime in the criminal world, I cooperated with the police.

By getting these people put behind bars was the only way that I would be able to get rid of the large debt that I had owed them. I knew the risk of doing this; I knew that other people like me had often tried something similar; they ended up being brutally murdered, so I had to plan extremely carefully to make sure that I didn’t suffer this fate. And all that while still under the influence. Luckily for me my plan was effective and I managed to succeed, but once we got to court, these criminals had easily worked out that it was I that had landed them in the dock, and I knew that their sentences would only be a few years at most, this was correct; the longest sentence handed out was only 15 years, and within a few years from now, they would begin to track me down.

Of course there were other people that owed these vile creatures lots of money but instead of taking my chosen route, they tried to pay it back by any means possible, whether that was doing (illegal) jobs for them or having sex with them if the person was good looking enough; and people just tried to make sure that they didn’t upset the people that they owed the money to.

But here they were, I could see them once again before my very eyes, but for now they couldn’t see me and I hoped it would stay that way. They looked pretty much identical to the last time I saw them, whereas I had physically completely changed.

It crossed my mind that I might just be able to walk out past them and they might not recognise me because of the vast change in my physical appearance. But I decided against trying that, it was far too risky, these people were vicious predators with hawk eye vision and I was there prey, they would most likely recognise me if they ever laid eyes on me and would attack, even if they were only 10% sure they were attacking the right person.

By now there were lots of these burly looking gang members walking around this usually quiet street where the worst crime was that of being working class, the residents were now answering the door to gang members and looked frightened for their lives and so they should, these men would trash your house if they had the slightest feeling that the person they were after was in there.

That was the worst thing about this whole situation that was unfolding before me, it was that the damage that was being caused was all my fault, if I hadn’t ever tried those drugs as an impressionable teenager then none of this would have ever happened.

That’s the thing about drugs though; the effects don’t just hurt you, your family and friends, it hurts completely innocent strangers too, as I was now witnessing here. If I was to do the right thing by these people then I would have to go out there and give myself up to them to stop the damage being done to my neighbours but I didn’t. I simply couldn’t.

It was devastating to watch as these innocent people had their homes trashed as they furiously denied knowing a name and physical description that they had never heard nor seen, the name and physical description that were of me in the past. And as they got closer to my own house I decided that I must get completely out of their view.

There was a loud banging on the door; they had now reached my house at the end of the street. I completely froze. What the hell could I do now to get out of this situation alive? I made sure that I stayed out of view, but I could somehow still feel their eyes looking around the room from the outside the window. The emergency alarm that had been installed for me by the Witness Protection People was placed on a table directly in front of the window; it was completely useless to me in this actual situation.

The door knocked again, if they had hit it any harder it would easily cave in, but then again if it didn’t get answered then they would just kick the door down. And just as I thought, within moments the door crashed down into the entrance lobby floor. Shit I thought to myself.

I’d often thought about arming myself but only a gun would be satisfactory right now, with any other weapon they would have easily overpowered me quite quickly. I was now face to face with them, they instantly recognised me straight away.

“Nice to see you again” he said in his cold hard voice. He even recognised me in a complete state of panic. I tried to make out that I had never seen him before.

“Sorry, have we met?” were the words that fell out of my mouth.

“Don’t mess me around again, you’ve already taken years away from me”. He kept closing in on me; I was literally being backed into a corner. I kept telling myself that at any moment now the police would burst in and save me, surely someone must have managed to call them by now.

Continuing with my plan I offered this devil from my past some ID, for some idiotic reason thinking that would help convince him I wasn’t who he wanted. I waved my driving licence in his face.

“Look, look, I’m not who you think I am, please leave me alone”, I wept.

He then punched me extremely hard in the face, knocking me straight out, I haven’t seen that house since; I don’t even know where I am now. And as I lay here trapped in this hoodlum’s makeshift dungeon, all I can think is my days are truly numbered. I’m totally screwed and back to square one all over again, only this time it’s going to be a whole lot harder for me to escape.

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Its my own fault really, its all about what I see in the world, and how it all translates for me.

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