2 years ago
Yes, there I was tucked up in my bed having yet another dream.
It wasn’t of a female horse, for that would have been a night mare. No, it was just a dream. But unlike most other nights, tonight’s dream was a little different, no totally different, from my usual ‘running naked through the old people's home’ affairs. This one was really, really strange and even I, with my vivid imagination, would have struggled to make anything like this one up.
You see I witnessed myself walking up the Coast Road, heading away from the beach (The beach? In my bedroom?), and I looked upward into the night sky, over to the west and noticed something huge turning between the moonlit clouds of the darkened heavens.
It wasn’t a star; it was far too large to be, and besides it was moving across the sky at a great pace. Maybe a meteor, asteroid or comet then? Not without media coverage I feared. There was really only one other thing it could be. And on realising it was some form of giant space craft, my immediate reaction was not one of disbelieving awe or wonderment, but one of total despair, and even embarrassment that I would now, at some stage of my life, have to admit to seeing a UFO. All those years spent on education blown away in one fell swoop as the world would soon look upon me as this season’s latest crank.
Anyway, I stood and observed the craft as it came closer and closer, then it all went completely Hollywood on me and the vision became a rather clichéd I’ll admit, post Close Encounters, colossal mother-ship which descended and hovered above the beach at the end of the road. Mesmerised by its beauty, I was drawn further towards it.
Stupidly some may say, I ran back to the beach to take a better look, and found myself amid total bedlam. The Coast Road had magically turned into the Golden Mile up at Blackpool and the mother ship was now seen docking with a caravan park near to a holiday camp, and amid all the chaos, campers were taking the form of Zombies walking towards the alien ship. Yes; Zombies!
Having stumbled over that notion, my immediate thoughts went out to the aliens. “Was this a way to greet extra terrestrial beings?” I asked the blood lusting Zombie hordes.
Look, don't judge me; it was only a dream!
Anyway, I think at this point I must have thought "Zombies versus aliens? This is just getting stupid!" and woke myself up. Or did I? It was either that or the fact something was biting at my face at around the same time this was all going down.
And now, enter my cat... He has a variety of methods of awaking me in the small hours; biting my face; sticking his claws into my face slowly and one by one; sticking his arse into my face; biting my hands; leaping on me from the bedside table, or just plain old sitting on my chest incubus-style whilst staring at me with his luminescent eyes in the darkness of the room.
You really do have to admire his versatility, it's definitely better than this yarn was.
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