A collection of short stories and journalistic commentaries depicting my simple life
and how I fit in with the modern day universe of our times

BEST BEFORE...





Now I seriously believe there could be some readers of this site that might share my sister’s complete dereliction of common sense and duty of care to her children, when it comes to things like use-by-dates on shop bought food stuffs.

And when one also considers that she is actually a trained caterer, I find her frankly cavalier attitude to this newly exposed game of expiration-date Russian-Roulette somewhat, er, cavalier at the very least!

You see quite recently, there has been some heated debate going on within in our family with respect to the decreasing capacities of our over burdened fridges, and whether we should spend real money on buying larger receptacles for such purposes as storing out of date food.

Personally, I am of the argument that we should first consider whether everything inside the fridge at present, should actually be there in the first place or not, and whether she may want to finish maybe one bottle of wine before opening up another. You know things of that ilk.

Anyway the opportunity presented itself a while back to execute a full audit of the contents of her fridge, where we examined the items unit by unit to establish each item’s validity within her precious and rapidly diminishing cold-space.

I have to admit that I only found seven items beyond their date stamp, which was quite a surprise really; I was expecting to find many more. But I was still unable to convince her that one of these items, the most recent in fact, a jar of mayonnaise dated June 2010, should really be thrown away. But guess what? It has since returned to the fridge again with the argument it will cost money to replace it (And a bigger fridge won’t?).

Now, as I have always considered mayonnaise to be no more than a calorie rich version of salmonella in a jar anyway, I can tell you that I for one, won’t be going anywhere near it.

However, therein lies the whole irony, because neither will she. Due to her staunch belief that a salad is a worthy but relatively pointless exercise in the first place, we all fully appreciate that the mayonnaise may never be revisited ever again. So it’s extremely probable now that I or maybe someone else for that matter will need to wait well in excess of another year perhaps, before we get to eject the toxic hazard on her behalf.


And as for the remaining six items, in ascending order, the top three were:

In third place: Anchovies; Dated February 2008.

In second place: Discover Salsa dip: Dated December 2004.


And finally in first place, from way back in the twentieth century:

Safeway Red Onion Jelly: Dated March 2000.


Yes, it's been out of date for over a whole a decade now. I mean Safeway doesn’t even exist anymore since they were bought out by Morrisons, but she's religiously brought it with her from her old flat, via her last house, to the house she moved into five years ago! God help those precious kids!

Naturally, this sort of thing never happens within the realms of my own refrigerator because I'm far too tight to bulk buy anyway. And with two well stocked 24 hour supermarkets within easy walking distance, why should I ever have to? Let them bear the storage costs I say. But nevertheless, this is what I am having to presently live with, being a part of such a close knit family.

Note to self ... Never stop over for tea!!


P.S.

How's your fridge looking?



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Its my own fault really, its all about what I see in the world, and how it all translates for me.

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